Hi. My name is Merline. My mom always said, "Beer is God's urine, so go ahead and drink it and it ain't passing out if it's at bed time. It's just sleeping."
Hi. My name is Merline and I listen to Journey's Don't Stop Believin on repeat whenever I drive to Walmart. Buckle up!
Hi. My name is Merline and I think I took a wrong turn and this isn't Manhattan is it and I know I say we're all equal, but THIS ISN'T WHAT MY WALMART LOOKS LIKE.
Hi. My name is Merline and I'm lost in NYC and my phone is dead and I'm hungry and all I have are Chuck E. Cheese coins. I took a weekend bus trip up here with my Walmart shopping friends group. DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE CHUCK E. CHEESE IS? I'm so hungry..
Hi. My name is Merline and I lost my Walmart Shopping Friends Chuck E. Cheese Bus Tour Group. My mom always said, "If you're lost, look for a Walmart and funtime sex gives you STDs and alcohol is for whores and that's what cousin Lisa is and that's why her hair is so unruly." I JUST REALIZED NEW YORK CITY DOESNT HAVE A WALMART AND I MIGHT BE IN HELL.
Hi. My name is Merline. My mom was a real trailblazer and always said it ain't no wonder that the word "men" is in the word "menstruation" and I said what's menstruation because I was 8 and she said it's when God punishes you 3-5 days monthly for being a lady. DEAR LORD, GET ME TO A WALMART.
Hi. My name is Merline and I said take me to Walmart. Not a bodega. What's a bodega? Everything's expired.
Hi. My name is Merline and I'm sorry. I didn't know those bags were your home, sir. I was looking for a Walmart bag. I slept next to a dumpster last night and smell like pickles and my mom always said, "If you smell like pickles, you're in a pickle. Good luck getting out."
Hi. My name is Merline and I'M the Missing Person. I have to go to Chuck E. Cheese. My Walmart Shopping Friends Chuck E. Cheese Tour Group is looking for me! Where is it? WHERE IS IT?? CHUCK E. CHEESE!!!
Hi. My name is Merline. They said they would be here. Amir, the taxi driver, brought me here and nobody's here and Amir is waiting outside asking for money and I don't know why. I thought he was being nice. I offered him Chuck E. Cheese coins, but he threw them on the ground and kept saying WHAT'S WALMART. What does he mean, Chuck E.? Please tell Jesus I love him, but I'm starting to wonder what the purpose of this is.